me: *trains glass out front windshield* Ms. Dorsey, set a new course. We’ll tack south’ard to Arby’s.
wife: why are you talking like that?
me: Avast! What have you for your freshest catch today?
drive thru kid: uh, we have a fish filet sandwich.
me: That will do. And from your storeroom a small pot of tartar sauce if one can be spared.
wife: oh my god will you shut up?
me: Helm-alee and haul off the tops’l! I wish for some dessert!
wife: fine, how ’bout Dairy Queen?
me: A proper suggestion! Load the port guns with two shots each. We’ll draw prow-level with the sugar merchants and demand oreo blizzards. I should like an oreo blizzard before I retire to my quarters at four bells.
wife: let me out of the car. now.